Dr. Seuss – Calculatus Eliminatus lyrics

Ken Bahn: When you mislaid a certain something, keep your cool and don’t get hot. Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you’ve got. Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot. The way to find a missing something is to find out where it’s not. It isn’t here. I’ll mark this “X”. It isn’t there. I’ll mark that “Y”. It isn’t underneath the apple. Mark the apple “HKI”.
Conrad: It isn’t in this keyhole.
Sally: It isn’t on my knee.
Ken Bahn: Mark the keyhole “K300”. Mark the knee “57B”. We just jot down all the places where it isn’t and gee whiz. Very shortly we were looking where the missing object is.
Conrad: It isn’t here.
Ken Bahn: 842-J.
Sally: It isn’t there.
Ken Bahn: F607. You can mark the piano “22 thousand decimal point 11”.
Sally: It isn’t in the icebox.
Conrad: It’s not on this TV.
Ken Bahn: Icebox, 0-2-4 1/2. TV, 1,000,003. When you mislaid a certain something, keep your cool, don’t go to pot.
Kids: Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you’ve got. Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot.
Ken Bahn: The way to find a missing something…
Kids: is to find out where it’s not.

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