I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall
I could stay right here or disappear, and nobody’d even notice at all
Im a creeper in a bathroom ’cause my buddy kinda left me alone
But Id rather fake pee than stand awkwardly or pretend to check a text on my phone
Everything felt fine, when I was half of a pair
Now through no fault of mine, theres no other half there
Now Im just Michael in the bathroom
Michael in the bathroom at a party
Forget how long its been
Im just Michael in the bathroom
Michael in the bathroom at a party
No, you cant come in
Im waiting it out till its time to leave
And picking at grout as I softly grieve
Im just Michael who you dont know, Michael flying solo
Michael in the bathroom by himself
All by himself
I am hiding but hes out there, just ignoring all our history
Memories get erased and Ill get replaced with a newer cooler version of me
And I hear a drunk girl, sing along to Whitney through the door
I wanna dance with somebody!
And my feelings sink cause it makes me think: now theres no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore
Now its just Michael in the bathroom
Michael in the bathroom at a party
I half regret the beers
Michael in the bathroom
Michael in the bathroom at a party
As I choke back the tears
Ill wait as long as I need, till my face is dry
Or Ill just blame it on weed or something in my eye
Im just Michael who you dont know, Michael flying solo
Michael in the bathroom by himself
Knock knock knock knock
Theyre gonna start to shout soon
Knock knock knock knock
Aw hell yeah, Ill be out soon
Knock knock knock knock
It s**s you left me here alone
Knock knock knock knock
Here in this teenage battle zone
Clang clang clang clang
I feel the pressure blowing up
Bang bang bang bang
My big mistake was showing up
Splash splash splash splash
I throw some water in my face
And I am in a better place
I go to open up the door, but I can’t hear knocking anymore
I cant help but yearn
For a different time
And then I look in the mirror and the present is clearer
And theres no denying, Im just…
At a party, is there a sadder sight than
Hmmmm Michael in the bathroom at a party, this is a heinous night
I wish I stayed at home in bed watching cable p**n
Or wish I offed myself instead, wish I was never born
Im just Michael whos a loner so he must be a stoner
Rides a PT Cruiser, God hes such a loser
Michael flying solo, who you think that you know
Michael in the bathroom by himself
All by himself
All by himself
All you know about me is my name
Awesome party Im so glad I came