[RAM]
Heyyyyy, ‘Ronica
[VERONICA]
Eww. You got a left hand: Use it
[KURT]
Don’t talk mean like that
[RAM]
You’ll hurt their feelings
You make my balls so blue
[KURT]
You hurt them badly
[RAM]
You make my balls so blue
[KURT]
They’re hangin’ sadly
[RAM]
What did they do to you
That you hate them so?
[KURT]
Don’t run from me
They’re all beat up
[KURT & RAM]
Like a tackling dummy!
[KURT]
They long for your embrace!
[RAM]
They’re warm like mittens!
[KURT]
They’ll curl up on your face
[RAM]
And purr like kittens!
[KURT]
You make my balls so blue!
[KURT & RAM]
Just look at them glow…
[RAM]
They’re beggin’ you!
[KURT & RAM]
Don’t make my balls so blue
[VERONICA]
Heather…? Heather…? Open the door
[HEATHERS DUKE & MCNAMARA]
Oh no, oh no no no!
[VERONICA]
Open the door!
[HEATHERS DUKE & MCNAMARA]
Oh no, oh no no no!
[KURT]
You make my balls so blue
So please say hello!
[RAM]
Hold ’em!
[KURT]
Enfold ’em
[KURT & RAM]
And never let go!
[KURT]
Once you were geeky and nerdy
[RAM]
But they knew you’re dirty
[KURT]
You’ve set them on fire
[KURT & RAM]
Whatever you require they’ll do!
So take ’em home to meet your parents!
[RAM]
They’ll wear a suit and tie
[KURT, HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
And a fancy collar!
[RAM]
They’ll sing a lullaby:
[KURT & RAM]
La la la la la!
[KURT, RAM, HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
Please make these balls not blue
[RAM]
Just for a while!
[KURT]
Can’t wait till later
[KURT & RAM]
My pants are rubbin’
[KURT, RAM, HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
Like a hot cheese grater!
[VERONICA]
Look! Booze. Drink!
[KURT]
Thank you so much!
[RAM]
They will protect you
[KURT]
Defend you
[RAM]
Respect you
[KURT]
Befriend you
[RAM]
Like Winnie-the-Pooh!
[HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
Winnie-the-Pooh!
[KURT]
Baby, baby, baby, they’re so blue!
[RAM]
My balls will work for you
[KURT, HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
They will obey ya!
[RAM]
They really need rescue!
[KURT, HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
Like Princess Leia!
[KURT & RAM]
Baby, you’ve gots to come through
[KURT]
Teach them to smile!
[RAM, HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You got no clue how much
These two
[RAM, KURT, HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
Depend on you
Please help them through!
My balls are in your court!
[KURT & RAM]
Yeah!
[HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You make them balls so blue!
[KURT & RAM]
You make my balls so blue!
[HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You make them balls so blue!
[KURT & RAM]
Ow! Ow!
[HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You make them balls so blue!
[KURT & RAM]
You make my balls so blue!
[HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You make my balls so blue!
You shake them
You quake them
[KURT & RAM]
Good God!
[HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You break-
[KURT & RAM]
My balls!
You make my balls so blue!
[HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You make my balls so blue!
You take them
[KURT & RAM]
Lookit! Lookit!
Lookit! Lookit!
[HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You bake them
Chrissake-
[KURT, RAM, HEATHER DUKE & MCNAMARA]
You make my balls so blue!
Please make their dreams come true
And make these balls not blue!