[Verse 1: Mac Miller]
Baby, baby, baby – yeah
Baby, baby, baby – yeah
I know… girl… girl… girl… girl…
I see you lookin’ good
Wearin’ that T-shirt
And nothin’ else but some purple panties
Your a** cheeks bouncin’ off each other
Like they don’t get along
But I’mma make ’em love each other
I’mma make ’em become the best of friends
Those a** cheeks, girl…
Them a** cheeks like, twins…
Which one was born first, baby?
Said which one is older, and by how many minutes?
Girl – your a** cheeks’ve got a mind of their own
Which one had better SAT scores, girl?
I don’t know… I don’t know…
Baby, if your a** had a face
What expression would it be making when
I put my tongue inside that a**hole and lick around like
I’m tryna have some sh**ty soup
Girl, f**in’ with you is like
f**in’ with a girl with a nice a**
That’s a lot of a**
An don’t forget about them tithes, girl
Don’t forget about them nipples, no!
They get hard when I rub ’em gently
And pinch ’em just a little bit
But I ain’t tryna hurt you, girl
No, I don’t wanna hurt you, girl
Unless you talk about the way that
Your p**y gon’ be hurtin’ after I get done with it
Girl, I’m just tryna have some fun with it
You ain’t nothin’ but a slutty-a** hoe
Who f**s every rapper that comes to your city
But goddamn you’re so pretty
When that a** is in leggings, girl
It don’t matter the pattern, or if they’re just solid black
Oh, I want that a** – you’ve got that pack
I ain’t talkin’ ’bout no cellulite
I’mma tell you, right – baby, we gon’ have a swell night
And I don’t know if you’ve ever seen something like me
When I pull out my dick, girl
I plan on f**in’ you so good
Damn… I hope you like the way my dick feels
Put it in your mouth, girl
Don’t you dare bite my sh**
‘Cause I’ll punch you in the motherf**in’ face
I’ll hit a b**h… oh, I’ll hit a b**h
But if you s** my dick good then we can get along
Might even put the head in this song
Probably not… ooh, probably not
Girl, how does my dick taste after a show
When I still haven’t showered?
You s** on my balls, you a champion
Girl, you a champion… girl, baby, baby
You and me… nobody wants us to be together, baby
But it’s okay… I’mma f** you anyway
And I heard that Kendrick f**ed ya
I heard that Rocky f**ed ya
I hear that every single rapper
That been in your city this month f**ed ya
But you still wouldn’t f** Schoolboy Q and I feel ya
But baby, you can love me right
And I know that your money’s tight
And I ain’t gonna give you sh**
But a meal and a gla** of Henny and this dick, b**h
Don’t come at me for money, no
‘Cause I’mma tell you youse an ugly hoe and slap you in the face
Punch you, give that a** a bloody nose
Ooh… I’m f**in’ crazy
And I wouldn’t marry you if you f**in’ paid me
A million dollars… ’cause you ain’t sh**
But a real good p**y
And to be honest that p**y ain’t even that good
Ijust think it is because when you horny, everything seems incredible
You probably just a regular-a** b**h and I’m trippin’
Oh, I’m on a roll, girl, I’m trippin’
Missionary, Doggystyle
Ride the dick, get wild, girl
From the side, do a split
Turn around, now s** my dick…
Baby, s** my dick, oh…
I love you, girl – psych!
I just told your mother that
And then I f**ed her too while your daddy watched
I’m crazy, girl
Better work out, I don’t like my b**hes lazy, girl
Don’t get lazy, ’cause I’ll kick your a** right to the curb
I know I’m gettin’ fat, so are you down with that?
Ooh, yeah, give that a** a slap, yeah, I like it, girl
And don’t you try and put your tongue in my a**hole
‘Cause that’s way too nasty for me
And I ain’t gay, but I like a girl to rub on my a**hole
When she s**s my dick – is that weird?
Maybe, girl – when I eat your p**y can you feel my beard?
It’s crazy, girl
I’m a nasty motherf**er in the Gap wearin’ khakis, motherf**er
And don’t you dare ask me for a rubber
‘Cause I don’t have those
Aye! What the f**’s wrong?
Can’t I talk about your a** in a song?
Have you ever seen that a** in a song?
Ooh… get low, baby! Oh, girl…
I’ll f** you while I’m listening to Taylor Swift
Ooh, that’s some player sh**
See, at the end of the night
I might get you a Gatorade ’cause b**h you need to catch your breath
‘Cause I just f**ed the sh** out of you
Ooh, I f**ed the sh** out of you…
But don’t you bleed on my sh**s, girl, you bled on my sheets
Now they’ve been red for a week
You bled on my sheets and stained them
My dreams have been red for a week
Ooh…
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…
And I just want you to know that you are not mine
Oh… yeah
I heard you f**ed Justin Bieber
Let me tell you that’s fine
Oh baby, that’s fine
But let me ask you one question, girl
Was his dick bigger than mine?
Don’t tell me yes… I might get depressed
Oh… I’m walkin’ in right, eh?
And I see… the milk section
What kind of milk do I get?
Baby, what kind of milk do I get?
There’s so many choices
So much variety of milk
I couldn’t help but think of you
And all the things I want to do in the milk section
Girl, me and you is like the milk section
But sometimes you need orange juice
And sometimes you need a little bit of both
But don’t drink too much milk
‘Cause you’ll be congested
Oh, and something manifested in my mind
I said: “Hey! Hey! Cashier, you dirty… give me the correct change!”
And I can’t deal with that right now
‘Cause my mom gave me twenty dollars and said:
“Bring back my damn change!”
You gon’ make that lady go insane…
Yeah… you gon’ make her lose her mind…
Ooh, girl…
I know what you like when you think of the perfect man
I’ll bet you didn’t think of me!
And that’s why I hate you, girl
But love is what we make it, girl
And you a little sloppy naked, girl
You might wanna tighten that up…
‘Cause ain’t no famous celebrity gon’ f** you
When you look like that
You gotta get good, start eatin’ on the right track
And baby, it’s alright that
The first night, you let me pipe that
Never been with no white rapper…
How was it?
Ooh, how was it, girl?
Was it everything you dreamed, or was it disappointing?
Oh sh**, that might need some ointment
Oh, girl!
You ain’t no hoe, you just know what you want
And I got what you need
Ooh, I got what you need
So give that p**y to me
And I’mma do the right thing
I’mma do the white thing
And treat that p**y disrespectfully
Oh, your p**y don’t get what it deserves
I’mma cum fast – it’s cool
Jack myself off then I come back
Ooh… f** that
Baby, I’ll f** you and rap in your ear at the same time
Pick a song on my jukebox, girl
And I can sing to you
If you’ve got some friends, please bring ’em too
‘Cause we could have a threesome
Sorry, I think I missed that note
I missed that note
Oh…
Let me tell you this story
While I was walking at the flea market the other day
And I saw…
Half-price lamps
And I scored, ’cause my living room’s lacking some light
So I bargained with the nice lady and said:
“Can I get four for the price of three?”
“It’s alright, you see? Just be nice to me.”
And she said: “Who the f** you think I am?”
“This is a 1970 Fiddich lamp, you can’t find these anymore”
“They don’t even sell them in stores”
That’s how serious this dumb b**h was about her lamps
I said: “I know your p**y’s dry but this dick gon’ make it down”
“f**in’ tramp – that’s what you are”
“So b**h, put them lamps in my car”
“And I’mma go home – and I’mma watch late night television”
“Said I’mma watch late night television, girl”
I can’t pick between Leno or Letterman
Leno or Letterman? Leno or Letterman?
And I like Fallon too! And I like Kimmel too!
And I like Craig Ferguson
But I can’t understand a single f**in’ word that he says, girl!
All these words in my head, what happened to SNL?
It used to be so funny
And who the f** is Fred Armisen?
Baby… how’d he get that job?
But let me not spend no time
Hatin’ on another man tryna get his
‘Cause I’m just tryna get mine
And I’m gettin’ off subject…
Isn’t this a love song?
NO!
This is just a f** song (whoa)
So that’s what I’mma do…
Ooh… baby, let me tell another story
Earlier today, I was flippin’ through channels on the cable when I
When I came across one of those commercials for sick dogs
And I hate that sh**, I hate eatin’ a cheeseburger
And watchin’ a video about animal cruelty, ’cause I know that sh** happens
But I like to forget it and enjoy my cheeseburger, yeah
‘Cause I can’t help but like it, girl
I know that… I know they treat those cows like sh**
And I ain’t really with that
But I ain’t no gay-a** vegetarian
I like beef… yeah, I like beef
Oh baby, I like beef
Baby… oh, let me tell you somethin’ else:
And I was on the internet the other day
Did somethin’ a little vain
I typed myself into Google Verse… Google Search (excuse me)
And what did I see?
Oh, you ask me, what did I see?
I’ll tell you right now
I saw some sh**
I clicked on the first picture
And I enlarged it to full screen
And what did I see?
You wanna know?
What I saw was so disgusting that I wanted to retire
I’mma tell you now
What I saw, what I motherf**in’ saw
What did I see?
I had something stuck in my teeth…
I think it’s lettuce, girl
From that turkey burger I ate when I was out at Turkey World
Oh baby, do you like some jerky girl?
No, no – f** that!
s** my motherf**in’ dick
I don’t play around – I’mma take this dick, I’mma lay it down
Oh… yo, I’m not gay – I love p**y
Ooh, I dream of p**y – I draw p**y
I write about p**y like it is some type of false idol
It really is – ’cause y’all be prayin’ on that p**y
Y’all be worshippin’ that p**y
Y’all be on Instagram commenting b**hes’ pictures
You thirsty for that p**y
And I ain’t really with that
Oh, I ain’t with that, girl… girl… girl…
Would you f** me?
Would you f** me if I looked more like Channing Tatum?
Is that the type of guy you like?
Ah…