I will tolerate any treatment.
Like I travel alone sometimes, and I’ll put up with anything.
I’ll book a ticket on some garbage airline –
You know, I don’t wanna name an actual airline so let’s just make one up; let’s call it “Delta Airlines.”
So I’ll book a ticket on “Delta Airlines” and I’ll show up at the airport and I’ll go, “Can I get on the plane now, please?”
And they go, “No. It’s delayed nine hours.”
And I go, “Okaaay!”
And then I go to the bathroom.
And then I come out of the bathroom and I go, “Any updates?” and they go “Yeah, we took off while you were in the bathroom.
Because we hate you.
Now take this meal voucher that doesn’t work, go fetch!”
And I go “Okaaay!” and I go over to the Wolfgang Puck Express and go, “Can I have a sandwich please?” and they go “NO!”
And I go “Okaaay!”
And they go, “You”re a little fat girl, aren”t you?”
And I go “Nooo,” and they go “SAY IT!” and I go “I’m a little fat girl.”
And then I go over to the Delta Help Desk, which is an oxymoron, and I go, “Can I please go home on an airplane?” and they go “No!
In fact, we”re gonna frame you for murder!
And you”re gonna go to jail for thirty years!”
And I go “Why are you doing this to me?!”