[Intro:]
Epic rap battles of history!
Goku!
Versus!
Superman!
Begin!
[Superman (Jimmy Olsen):]
Who can stop this constipated jock
With the awful animation and the complicated plot?
Who’s got the rap bombs to drop on Japan?
This looks like a job for the OG (Superman!)
I’m killing it, you’re Krillin it, I’m villainous to vegetables
Who dance around in hammer pants that hide their tiny genitals
My level is incredible, I’m out of your league
You want justice? I’ll bust this nut up in your Chi Chi
Greasy slick emcee from DC
One breath, I’ll freeze your whole measly species
You’re primitive and limited, you live in a village of idiots
Step in Metropolis, I’ll snap a carrot, period
[Goku (Krillin):]
How many times are they gonna rewrite your story?
Your powers have been boring since the nineteen fucking forties (GOKU!)
Defeat me with heat beams? You’re crazy
Cause I’m a Super Saiyan, you’re a flying Miss Daisy
You’re pretty pasty to be powered by the sun
You can’t flow to Son Goku, I Kaoiken get it done
When I see your movies all I do is watch the clock
Cause there’s nothing fun about a superhero scared of green rocks
Look at those panties (ho!)
You got that camel toe
I’ll report to Lois Lane, then Superman that ho
[Superman:]
Haha, your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes
Just one punch and over 9000 screams!
I’ll make your nose bleed like Roshi sniffing panties
From Z to GT, you can Dragonball deez
[Goku:]
Don’t lecture me about fights, you caped coward
You got your ass beat by a bat with no powers
There’s only one way that this battle’s gonna end
One more Superman who’s never gonna walk again
[Outro:]
Who won?
Who’s next?
You decide!
Ep! Ic! Rap! Battles of history!