URSULA
The only way to get what you want is
To become a human yourself.
ARIEL
Can you do that?
URSULA
My dear, sweet child. That’s what I do.
It’s what I live for.
To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself.
Poor souls with no one else to turn to.
I admit that in the past I’ve been a nasty
They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you’ll find that nowadays
I’ve mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
True? Yes!
And I fortunately know a little magic
It’s a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don’t laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
Crying, “Spells, Ursula, please!”
And I help them!
Yes I do
Now it’s happened once or twice
Someone couldn’t pay the price
And I’m afraid I had to rake ’em ‘cross the coals
Yes I’ve had the odd complaint
But on the whole I’ve been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
Have we got a deal?
ARIEL
If I become human,
I’ll never be with my father or sisters again.
URSULA
That’s right…
But you’ll have your man, heh heh.
Life’s full of tough choices, isn’t it? Heh heh.
Oh, and there is one more thing.
We haven’t discussed the subject of payment.
You can’t get something for nothing, you know!
ARIEL
But I don’t have any-
URSULA
I’m not asking much, just a token really, a trifle!
You’ll never even miss it…
What I want from you is – your voice.
ARIEL
My voice?
URSULA
You’ve got it, Sweet-cakes,
No more talking, singing, ZIP!
ARIEL
But without my voice, how can I-
URSULA
You’ll have your looks, your pretty face!
And don’t underestimate the importance of body language, ha!
The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yes on land it’s much preferred for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
On a lady who’s withdrawn
It’s she who holds her tongue who get’s her man
Come on you poor unfortunate soul,
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I’m a very busy woman and I haven’t got all day
It won’t cost much
Just your voice!
Ya’ poor unfortunate soul
It’s sad but true!
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet,
You’ve got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her boys
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul!
Beluga sevruga
Come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larengix glaucitis
Et max laryngitis
La volce to me
Now, sing!
ARIEL
Ah-Ah-Ah~
Keep singing!
(The spell is finished and Ariel transforms, struggling up to the surface.)