[Verse 1]
[Peter:]
I can’t poop in strange places
[Quagmire:]
Strange places
[Peter:]
I can only poop in my home
It’s as though I’m watched by strange faces
[Quagmire:]
Strange faces
[Peter:]
It’s why I never roam
[Interlude]
[Patron:]
Excuse me, I just wanna grab one of those newspapers.
[Quagmire:]
Just grab one and go!
[Patron:]
I’m looking for a job, okay?!!
[Verse 2]
[Peter:]
I’ve left Stewie alone with strangers
[Quagmire]
Strangers…
[Peter:]
To satisfy my fecal needs…
[Chorus: Peter & Quagmire]
I’ve put my whole family in danger
To poop before my anus bleeds
Home bowl, home bowl
You know just what I need
Home bowl, home bowl
Poop before my anus bleeds