[SPOKEN: ANSWERING MACHINE]
You have twenty-seven messages
[SPOKEN: CANDELA IN PHONE VOICE]
Pepa, Pepa
It’s me are you there? Call me!
Hi, it’s me…again. Candela
Where are you? Just, call me when you get this ok? Ok
Pepa…. Pepa!!!
[SUNG: CANDELA VERSE 1]
Pepa
It’s me again why aren’t you picking up the phone?
Its like my brain is gonna melt if I don’t talk to you
I got a problem in the shower, and I only got a minute
Cause the problem in the shower is this guy that I’ve been dating named Malik
He’s, What’s the word? Swarthy, like a desert sheik
And he’s been here in my apartment for about a week
I met him down at Cafe Sombra, and I know you think I’m overly romantic
But you wouldn’t believe the connection we had, like immediately
I was ready for him to meet my mom
Like I could feel my heart exploding like some kind of bomb
Which is ironic because actually I think he literally has some kind of…
[SPOKEN: CANDELA]
Anyway grandpa, happy birthday, say hello to grandma and be sure to thank…
[SUNG: CANDELA]
That was him!
I may be dumping to conclusions, God I hope I am
He thinks I’m thin and he’s got shoulders like Jean Claude Van Dame
Listen call me when you hear this I’ll me here for half an hour
Call me back!
[SUNG: CANDELA VERSE 2]
Pepa
Are you there? Are you there? Are you…?
Okay you’re not there but we need to talk
My stomach’s aching like I swallowed some enormous rock
I’m at the phone booth on the corner and I only got a minute
Cause I’m running out of change, cause I’ve been lending all my money to Malik
God knows with men I’m not exactly on a lucky streak
But this one really is a mess, I think I’m gonna freak!
I know you say I’m an alarmist, but I’m not remember there’s that time I though I saw a spider
But you said “nah, its a Raisin”
But it suddenly started moving and it crawled over and bit me on my toe
So if you’re gonna stand in judgement that’s how much you know
Its a good thing I didn’t eat it, but I never would’ve eat it
Because I never did like raisins so why would there be a raisin on the floor?
So if you hear this call me back, I’ll wait a little more
I’ll be at 773…
[SPOKEN: CANDELA]
Damn they scratched out the number…and misspelled vagina
All right I’m hanging up, I’ll call you back!
[SUNG: CANDELA VERSE 3]
Pepa
Ok I’m trying you again, its afternoon
It’s like my eyes are gonna pop if I don’t get you soon
I’m at the studio, which s**s because I’m having trouble working
Cause the only thing I think about’s this crazy situation with Malik
I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you and I don’t speak
I know you think I’m just a drama queen, but actually I’m practical
And damn it I’m a model so of course I feel things deeper that most people typically do
And anyway I think my life might be in danger too
You won’t believe what he’s got hidden in the…
Fernando’s working here he’s lost a lot of weight though
And he got that thing removed he just looks…
Pepa, Marcos, he says hello
And now he’s telling me were shooting so I got to go
Its some big deal ad campaign I don’t know what its for
They got me posing with a melon and a matador…some kind of metaphor
Call me back!
[SUNG: CANDELA BRIDGE]
Pepa, its eight, I don’t know why you’re treating me like this
Pepa, its almost ten o’clock you really are a terrible friend
Pepa I’m sorry I’ve never felt to frightened and alone
I’m like a helpless little kitten up a…
Hey I’m on the f**ing phone!
Please call me back
Pepa it’s midnight, are you screening?
It’s three AM you have to call me
I’d never do this to you what kind of a friend…
What was the name of that cheese that I like?
[SPOKEN: IVAN]
Pepa, Pepa sweetheart. Listen, I need to tell you…
[SPOKEN: ANSWERING MACHINE]
Tape is full. End of messages
[SUNG: CANDELA]
Pepa
Okay now even your machine’s ignoring me
Listen, Pepa, I know you think I’m needy but you’ve gotta see
I’m feeling kinda woozy. I’ve been crying for an hour
And my boyfriend has an ooze and he doesn’t clean the shower
And I don’t know where you are
I don’t know where I am
I’m halfway up a tree and completely in a jam
I’m out here in a desert and nobody gives a damn
Pepa, Pepa, Pepa…
Call me back!