MRS JOHNSTONE
ONCE I HAD A HUSBAND
YOU KNOW THE SORT OF CHAP,
I MET HIM AT A DANCE
AND HOW HE CAME ON WITH THE CHAT
TEDDY BOY
Y’ DANCIN’. I THINK YOU’RE A BLEEDIN’ CRACKER.
MRS JOHNSTONE
HE SAID MY EYES WERE DEEP BLUE POOLS
MY SKIN AS SOFT AS SNOW
TEDDY BOY
LOVELY.
MRS JOHNSTONE
HE TOLD ME I WAS SEXIER THAN MARILYN MONROE
AND WE WENT DANCING
WE WENT DANCING.
THEN, OF COURSE, I FOUND
THAT I WAS SIX WEEKS OVERDUE.
TEDDY BOY
Y’ WHAT !??
MRS JOHNSTONE
WE GOT MARRIED AT THE REGISTRY
AN’ THEN WE HAD A “DO”.
GUESTS
BRING ON THE BEVVIES.
MRS JOHNSTONE
WE ALL HAD CURLY SALMON SANDWICHES
AN’ HOW THE ALE DID FLOW.
GUESTS
CHEERS.
MRS JOHNSTONE
THEY SAID THE BRIDE WAS LOVELIER THAN MARILYN MONROE
GUESTS
AND WE WENT DANCING,
YES, WE WENT DANCING.
MRS JOHNSTONE
THEN THE BABY CAME ALONG
WE CALLED HIM
TEDDY BOY
DARREN WAYNE.
MRS JOHNSTONE
THEN THREE MONTHS ON I FOUND THAT I WAS IN THE CLUB AGAIN.
TEDDY BOY
I MARRIED A BLEEDIN’ RABBIT.
MRS JOHNSTONE
AN’ THOUGH I STILL FANCIED DANCING
MY HUSBAND WOULDN’T GO.
TEDDY BOY
GET LOST WILL Y’.
MRS JOHNSTONE
WITH A WIFE HE SAID WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF MARILYN MONROE
NO MORE DANCING
NO MORE DANCING.
BY THE TIME I WAS TWENTY-FIVE
I LOOKED LIKE FORTY-TWO.
WITH SEVEN HUNGRY MOUTHS TO FEED
AND ONE MORE NEARLY DUE
ME HUSBAND, HE WALKED OUT ON ME
A MONTH OR TWO AGO
TEDDY BOY
TA-RA.
MRS JOHNSTONE
FOR A GIRL THEY SAY WHO LOOKS A BIT LIKE MARILYN MONROE
AND THEY GO DANCING
THEY GO DANCING
YES, THEY GO DANCING
THEY GO DANCING.