[LAUREN]
Oh no, you don’t dare
Girl, girl, girl, I’m warning you!
No! I think I have a crush. I can’t
I think I’m falling for him
Oh no
Why not?
Women have been making bad choices
Since the beginning of time
Are you gonna be another one of mine? Ohh
Used to think you were from outer space
Who’s that bright-eyed guy in your place?
You’re kinda cute, when you’re not so shy. Ohh
But I’ve been here before
Have I come back for more?
Another chapter in the history of wrong guys
You used to be so “eh”
A limp lackluster bore
But now you’re changing into something I just can’t ignore
Charlie, honestly
I’ve been hurt like this before
Is there really more to you
Than what I always thought
How can you surprise me anymore?
Ohh. Ohh. Ohhhhhh
He’s got a girlfriend, you flake
Why are they only nice when they’re unavailable?
Don’t wanna be another star-crossed lover
We all know how that ends
I’m better off without him
We’re better off as friends. Ohh
But I’ve been here before
Have I come back for more?
Another chapter in the history of wrong guys
Yesterday no spark
My heart aching allure
But today I’m feeling something I just can’t ignore
Charlie, honestly
I’ve been hurt like this before
Ohh. Ohh. Ohhhhhh
The history of wrong guys:
Chapter One – He’s a bum
Two – He’s not into you
Three – He’s a sleaze
Four – Loves the girl next door
Five – Loves the boy next door
Six – Don’t love you no more
– Makes you insecure
– Makes you so unsure
– Is so immature
– Loves his mother more
Or
– Has a girlfriend named Nicola. Ah
Charlie, honestly
I’ve been hurt like this before-oh-ohh
I can see there’s more to you
Than what I always thought
But I won’t be burned anymore. Ohh. Ohh. Ohhhhhh
[TRISH]
Hey. Where you off to?
[LAUREN]
I’ve been executized