Would you annihilate us if you had the chance?
That’s such an antisocial thing to do
You’ve got us crapping our collective pants
May I suggest you take it down a notch or two
We’re not exactly sure why you’re upset
Did that Seth Rogen movie make you super mad?
You’d like us if you got to know us i bet
We’re mostly harmless decent people, hey we’re really not so bad
My point is!
Please don’t nuke us North Korea
Right now we’re all a little tense
Believe me!
We don’t hate you
Frankly we don’t even think that much about you, no offense
Now you might call us “bloodthirsty dogs”
But that metaphor’s not very apt
Were just a bunch of simple fidget-spinning goofy dorks
Who probably couldn’t find your country on a map
No we’re not savages or cannibals
Well maybe just a really really really small percent
So I think it would be best if you’d knock off those missile tests
Don’t turn us into cinder while we’re swiping right on Tinder
Don’t jump start Armageddon or our beds will soon be wetter
Won’t you think this through for a moment please
Now why would you bomb our nice celebrities?
Oh why in the world would you kill Tom Hanks?
Cause nobody doesn’t like Tom Hanks!
So!
Please don’t nuke us North Korea
That would seriously ruin our day
Remember!
We’re not evil psychotic monsters
No matter what the news may say
We’re just those goofballs from the U.S.A!
(Please don’t nuke us)
(Please don’t nuke us)
(Please don’t nuke us)
Hey!